MotherTrucker Santa

I don't know if it's karma, somebody with a whacked sense of humor or just my shitty luck but as I was commuting in today, a rock hit my windshield.

and it dented it.

like the width of my pinky finger.

not cool Santa Claus.  Not freaking cool. I highly suggest getting on the do not call list cause once I track down your address you may find a bag on fire at your front door.

Puppy killer

What could be worse than a serial killer?  A clown serial killer yes.  And a Puppy Killer most definitely.  Three words:
what the fuck

Perhaps his parents kicked him in the ribs as a child.  I dunno know.  All I know is if anyone can kill a puppy, they can pretty much kill anything, a human or child.  What a waste of flesh.

Maba be KRAZYYY

I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda embarrassed to say I'm from DC.  I mean, it's no surprise why DC can't get status as a state when they elect jokers like Marion Barry, Vincent Gray and Adrian Fenty.  So many clowns and crooks.  I won't go into specifics but you can google stories of crooked DC politicians.

I will mention that Ex Crackalack Mayor Barry, who is a council member (don't ask me how), recently put his foot in his mouth AGAIN.  This time, he was passing out turkeys (which is noble) but when reporters asked who was paying for the turkeys, this turkey said only "liberal white folks" care about turkey funding.  For realz?  I would think any DC tax payers regardless of political allegiance or race would give a shit about how their tax money is being spent.  What the hell is wrong with this fool?

Office Space, have you seen it

It's a great movie, quintessential IT/Cube Farm movie.  Has all the crazy characters: techies, weirdo techie, micro manager, regular jane/joe work trying to hold onto their soul etc etc.

That's my go to movie when things are crazy.  There is a particular scene when the characters are jacking up a copy machine.  I've been there and have wanted to take a bat to one.


alas.

um... I might had a beer for lunch and eaten a salad with chop sticks.
at my desk.

it's kinda like that. 

One of those days

truthfully, it's been one of those weeks.

not a good thing.

I may take up drinking like a sailor cause I sure as shit been cursing like one lately.  I can't decide if I should or shouldn't have a punching bag.  Or maybe take up throwing knives. 

and I bought a $5 scratch off and did NOT win.  FML.

Commuting with fancy pants

Is it just me or does the DMV area have a shit ton of celebrities and high falooting political types or gazillionaires?

I ask because every time I drive anywhere especially 495 there's always a couple jackwads that act as though they are superior and everyone else is in 'their way'.  Many a times I've been tempted to get out of the car and ask for their autograph because they must be really fucking important to tailgate, zig zag and ride on the shoulder as if it's their personal lane.

by the way, I've also been tempted to create a bumper sticker that say's in kinda smaller writing so you have to be close to see it -

"Let me dash on some lipstick before riding my ass.

Tailgaters SUCK!"

Is is wrong that I wish this on asshole drivers? If they want to commit suicide, have at it, just don't take the rest of us with you. fuckers.

Halloween

Is the gift that keeps on giving!  I scored candy and will score sale candy tomorrow, but it was great cause I stayed home and gave out candy.
no one else was around.
it was quiet.
I ate in silence.

and yes, it was golden.

Rock you like a Hurricane!

There's a nasty storm making it's way up the East Coast but I wanted to assure you that I will be okay.  I've pick up my storm rations and am ready to hunker down:
booze
thin mints
bacon
toilet paper
water

the above list may or may not be in order of priority.  All in all I think it will be okay.   Most importantly, I hope that everyone comes out safe and sound.  Even rat tail dude (from my previous post).

Present 4 U!

I know it's too early for Christmas, but perhaps you can use this as inspiration for your Halloween costume.

You can thank me later.

For those non cosmopolitan folks, this is a Rat Tail (literal and figurative).  The rat tail haircut was prevalent in the 80's, 90's and in certain groups: soccer players and guitarist in hair bands circa 1983-1997.  It is a distant cousin to the Mullet (see below).  This is an exceptional example of a rat tail, as the shape incorporates the look of a rat.  This my friend, is a true piece of art.  I might have peed a little when I saw this.

F U, scale! F U!!!

Someone we all know and love had major dental work done.  It hurt like shit.  Seriously, I thought I flew to London and encountered a gang of skin heads that kick my jaw in.  Non stop ache and headaches for a week.  I'm all tired and bitchy cause I keep waking up at 3/4am from sheer pain.

but the kicker is ... after nearly of week of mushy food the fucking scale has barely moved.  WTF.  I was expecting a 5lb loss.  I'm soooo pissed.

Crazy killer shit

There is truth in old sayings like "truth is stranger than fiction" case in point, story about a chef that is on trial for murdering his wife and boiling her body for days until the only think that remained was her skull.  I mean, holy SHIT!

I can't fathom killing someone... wait.  I can't fathom actually going through with killing someone none the less disposing of their remains.  Murder is a messy business my friends.  That takes commitment and EWWWWWwww.  How can this guys sleep at night?  WOW.

Sticky mess

People are funny.  I'm sure this broad must be HELLA Krazy cause just a mere drawing of a stick figure she sent to someone is threatening.  Hence the extra jail time, bitches! 

Now, take a moment and think about this.  How many times have you seen a stick figure image either drawn by you as a child or by kids, adults or your children?  The last thing I think of is threatening.  In fact my fave stick figures are by Cyanide & Happiness, they are evil and hilarious but not threatening.



Can you imagine the shit she did to get into jail? Makes me shudder to think. 

AWWWwww

In an effort to show that I have a beating heart and I'm not a complete asshole, I wanted to share this luvable fuzzy wuzzy article about a dog fostering a kitten.  I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty damn cute.

Good?  Bask in the warm fuzzy glow that is adorable animals.

 

au natural

ummm.. that's ballsy.  Go Kathy (Griffin).  She is totally unrecognizable.  I kinda like the creeper smile too.  She's all "Take that paparazzi!".

Muah.. human kind is going down

Okay, so I haven't written in a minute, been all mad crazy busy.  I'm pleased to say that I didn't commit any homicides, I had my doubts but then school started back up.  And now everyone is ok.  Yay!

Anyways, do you remember the Eddie Murphy song about Booty in the Butt?  As luck would have it, maybe this criminal liked that song a little TOO much.  Check it, this fool got busted burglarizing a place and was found naked with a Computer Mouse up da Butt.

EWWwwww.  EW, I say.  His mother must be sooo proud.  Muah haha

Ha, and this dude found out his lady love was HIV Positive, instead of figuring out the next steps for both of them.  This guys was all HELL'S NO, you ain't getting No Sympathy.  He stabbed her dead.  Wow, I mean, I know you are all upset and stuff but damn dude, prison healthcare isn't the best.  Now you are STUCK.

Beaver attacking a geezer

Reason 54 as to why I don't exercise.

this is also reason 22 why I don't swim in ponds/lakes. .. that and barracudas, alligators, anacondas, piranhas, chupracoabra and any other thing that lives in the wild and can attack people.

yo, keep your ass in the house.

damn.

but the lady lived.  yay darwin.

Glow in the Dark nail polish

it's legit and really works.  I got some at Hot Topic.

Yes, I know that is a store for 14 yr olds.  I don't care.

But if I pick at my nails and ingest some of the polish.  Will my poop glow in the dark?  Hmmmm

Bizzzsay

Serious been straight up busy.  No juicy gossip or stories...

sorry.

However, the good news is that I've scoped out two lovely sites for you (that are great)!  You can thank me later:
http://www.solestruck.com
http://www.asos.com

Kisses!

Brain FREEEEZE

what the fuck is up with this!  (see image)  what is this you say, well it's about a 1/4 teaspoon of ice cream in a gallon container - THAT WAS LEFT IN THE FREEZER.

when I asked one of the possible culprits if this was their handy work, the assailant confessed and said that they were going to eat the rest later.  UMmmm.. to say that this is a tablespoon of ice cream is pushing it.  I mean, really?  I got to tell you, I'm SOOO scared about the future of America.  I am sure this seems petty to some but it's simply indicative of complete thoughtlessness.  plus it's a little rude.

when you wonder why I'm stashing snacks and stuff over neighbors houses, I implore you to look at the above pic.

Death Penalty

I will be the first to admit that sometimes I'm insensitive bitch. but come on... with the rash of insanity and people shooting folks in public places I got to wonder what the f is up with our Justice system.

Look, I believe that the basis of the US Penal System is good, in fact it's pretty ideal and romantic.  I also understand that some folks have cards stacked up against them from a race and socio-economic standpoint.  So, the burden should be on the courts to prove if a person is guilty.  However, if someone commits a heinous crime and there are witnesses AND there are documents/rants/proof at the suspects house AND they admit their guilt I see nothing wrong with cutting straight to the chase and killing the person.

I mean it's a waste of time and tax payer dollars to go to court and give a life sentence.  When I read headlines on CNN that Jared Lee Loughner is expected to plead guilty on the mass shooting in AZ last year, my reaction is NO FUCKIN SHIT Sherlock.  I mean, he DID do it, he DID admit it and he's fucking looney.  You can't fix that shit.

He needs to slip in the bathroom and break his neck. 

I'm happy that the shooter in the Sikh Temple killings was killed by the police.  You can spin your wheels all day to try to figure out why someone does the stuff they do but you simply can't rationalize crazy.

Never dissapointed

True story.  I went to Big Lots.  If anyone has ever been to Big Lots you know that it's quite possibly a couple steps below Walmart but there are some great deals.  Maybe things are past the expiration date, 'retro', and you seriously need to avoid eye contact with the other shoppers but it's worth a trip.

So, I'm at Big Lots in Vegas (take all of the above and multiply the 'awesomeness' err... optical travestry by 3) and my friend said that after milling about in the store that his kids are A OK.  That they could very well run for public office in comparison with folks onsite.

I'm won't deny, that comparatively they seem like Valevictorians... however... is it really good to have such low standards?  I mean, it's great for ego building purposes but come on.  The folks at the store were a couple Darwin steps short of  chimps... and I'd have a pretty solid argument that I'm insulting the monkeys.  So, do you think it's good to have low expectations to not be disappointed?
Or should we aim for the stars to strive for more?
Discuss.

4 Reasllz?

Okay, catching up on the juicy news while I was busy.

There was a 60 person brawl in Frederick, MD.  The news is sooo funny, they said they are trying to determine the cause.  I've go to put on my thinking caps for this one..... do you think it could be .....
ALCOHOL and STUPID PEOPLE?

maybe.  ya think?

Beat Carries on

I wish I could say that this week is getting better.  That I ran into Johnny Depp at 7-11 and he asked me to marry him.  But nay.

I have been busy off the chain and continue to get nastygrams from clients.  Last I checked I don't have a latex suit and a red ball in my mouth so I really don't know what the F is up with this shit.  Seriously, I just sent a note to a client thanking them, telling them to have a nice day and that we looked forward to hearing from them... after they bitch slapped me.  It's my passive aggressive way of telling them to simmer down.

Good thing is that I'm losing weight.
Bad thing is because I'm too f'ing busy to take a lunch.

Don't get me wrong, if I deserve a bitch slap I'm straight up about it. But this is some BULLLLLLLLLLLLLLL  SHIT.

Full Moon or what!?

Today's a pretty freaking ridiculous day.  I mean it's barely halfway over, but it's been non stop crazy work emails.  I'm on the cusp of strangling a client.   seriously.

Must control desire to kill.

so hard

I think I will go to 7-11 and score some lottery tickets cause this is some bullshit.  I haven't wanted to whoop someone's ass like this in a long time (okay, workwise.. haha).

In the meantime I heard on the news that New Orleans is rated number 1, for singles for flirting.  Now, I'm no sociologist.... but do you think they took out the variant of ALCOHOL?  Hello!  It's called liquid courage for a reason.  dumb dumbs.

Whenever I'm sad

I like to look on the Faces of Meth website.

It just makes me feel better about myself.  But geez, it's crazy how damaging and toxic this drug is.  I mean it's CLEAR.  Why anyone would knowingly do this drug is beyond me.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

idk

having a weird long week and starting to miss having my OWN place/space.

Ripping out the ole uterus

actually, when I'm around teenagers I want to stab myself in the uterus and rip it out. 

ugh.

and it is wrong that I also want to make them sterile?

Rinse and Repeat

Trying not to hurt people.

But I wonder how many times must one make a request over and over again until they can shove their foot up someone's ass? 

It's nothing big, a simple request like pick up your mess, put dishes in dishwasher, flush the toilet when you are done using it.  No, I'm not talking to toddlers, contrary to popular belief I do not sacrifice them to appease the old gods or look young.  I actually like kids.  well behaved kids.
and adults.

but alas.  nothing is perfect.  So I teeter on the brink of homicide and plaster on my best 'sleep with one eye open' smile.

skanktastic

Went out on the town with some ladies.  It was during the black out storm.  Regardless, had loads of fun.

However, there was this 'young lady' who was tramptastic and didn't quite comprehend physical boundaries.  Now, I was once young, and dressed rather scandalous, but I didn't invade personal space. I mean I think I got to 2nd or 3rd base, her ass cheeks were all up against my arm.  WTF?

I didn't want to embarrass my friends or go to jail.  So I simply watched the train wreck of the future of america... I tried to take a picture but I needed flash and it would've been too obvious that I was ragging on her.  Even though I may regret not slapping this ho on my death bed, I gain great satisfaction in knowing she was hitting on a gay guy.  Whether he knows it or not is beyond me, but he was definitely playing for the other team.  I could've warn her but ... she too could've moved her ass away from my entire body.

Hussy = FAIL

the things we do

for money.

3.5 hours on the phone including a 2 hour conference call.

I died a little inside today.  I will never get that time back.  The things I could've done instead include (but aren't limited to):

• sleep
• laundry
• people watching at Walmart
• grocery shopping
• picked my nose
• gardening
• hosted a tea a party
• embarked on a witch hunt
• vacuumed
• gotten a massage

but nay.  I did none of those things.  soo bitter.  atleast it's Friday.

Animal Maiming

Over the weekend police finally caught a person responsible for a series of animal slashings in VA.  A 17 yr perpetrator has been arrested.  WTOP said that no motive has been found.

Now, I ain't no Kojak but I got a possible motive for you....
This kid is two stabs shy of being a Jeffrey Dahmer... that's what.

He's a sick little bastard with some wacked out deviant sexual issues or is a future serial killer of prostitutes.  NOTE: He should NOT become a Truck Driver!  What the hell is wrong with people?  I mean these are animal in a farm - park area.  He wasn't camping and fending for his life.  How depressed must his parents be?  But I have to wonder, this kind of behavior doesn't pop out outta the blue, this kid has been fucked up for a while.  There had to have been signs.  Is it wrong that I want to put him down?

mm..hhm yay

This weekend was fascinating, I got hit on unabashedly by a lesbian (which I'm cool with) but she was HILARIOUS, I mean considering we "just" met, the things she was saying in front of everyone had me wondering if she kissed her mother with that mouth.

WOW.

Other than that, the weekend went by quickly, had fun, worked on my imbibing tolerance.

Had a headache, woke up went to work. which is uber busy.
Didn't do anything at home.  It looks like the closet vomitted.  seriously.

I may work on the room today, may just go to bed early.  I think I need vitamin b shots.  I'm soo exhausted.

Take a Midol and call it a day

I've noticed an interesting trend on my blog.  It seems to get especially bitchtastic around the same time of the month. 

coincidence?  I don't think so.

Today's random thought:   Would you kill your child's pimp?  There is a story on CNN about parents in CA that did, and they are being held on $2 million bond.  I know we preach justice and that we shouldn't be 'an eye for an eye'... but I also think there so be some exceptions to the rule.  I mean imagine how much the recidivism and crime rate would go down?

Slap me silly with a wet sock

Okay... I just got to know, who the hell are these bitches that are buying these socks?  (especially the dumb ones paying full price) and why aren't they dating me?

Oh wait... it's cause I'm poor.  and have common sense.

Dear Reader,

Should I inherit a crap ton of money, or win the lottery if I EVER do something this stupid, you can slap me with a wet sock.

Yours Truly,
Fifi

sigh

and today is the longest day of the year... seriously, it feels like it and it IS the Summer Solstice.

FML.

I want to go home and lay in the fetal position.  And I'm eating blueberries like it's going out of style.... its suppose to be a natural anti-depressant. (hint: I don't think it's working cause I still want to kick people's asses)

Bummer - shoe screwed

So my awesome last post about a "friend's" shoe problem...

well the online store called them and they made a mistake.... the shoe is not available.  In the words of the Soup Nazi.... NO SHOES FOR YOU.  Crushed, I tell you!

Somebody is kinda sad. 

Spider shoes!!

I'm not going to name names... but I know someone that has a shopping problem.  In that person's defense.  the said item was on sale and has been stalked for about or over a year.

I like to keep things complicated.

Holy Guacamole

TWO THINGS:

1.  I'm OUT, I'm FREE.  I'm finally done with the craptastic place I was living in.  Now my headaches will be of a different variety.  : )  Atleast I'm done with that stress.  So Yay!

2.  WTF is up with the balt salt, crazy crack or zombie attacks as of late?  I mean, I CAN'T be the only person this is wondering what the fuck is going on.  First you got:
a. Miami Zombie Attack
b. NJ self stabbing/intestine throwing

Say "No" to bath salts

Yeah.... maybe time to buy some shotguns.. Of, course this would happen after all is seemingly well with my life now.  Damn it. 

Kinda giddy

with excitement now that I'm en route out of the crap hole that has been my abode for the last couple of years.  I've thought long and hard, I will not punch that douche bag in the face.  Nor will I acknowledge him because some people just want attention, any attention.  And considering he is an old lonely angry hobbit that hasn't had booty in probably 20 years... I think him living his miserable life is a fitting punishment.

I'm moving on, to a lovely area with great friends. Yes, I'm sure there will be drama and sassafras - nothing is perfect but... I won't be in a crap hole fearing for my life or that I may break and kill a man...

well maybe.  but that's a whole 'nother batch of blog entries.

Operation Living in Sin

Apparently I'm a glutton for punishment.  Tee hee.  Effective June.  We can make a game out of it.  How long before I break.... or break someone.

White bike shorts

It's a No No.  White pants, yes - well maybe depending on a number of factors: fit, style, he/she who is wearing the pants  But BIKER SHORTS - must never be worn.

because sweaty + ass = not attractive (on anyone)

holy hubba hubba

So last month other than celebrating one of the greatest days ever (my birthday.... which entailed ALOT of imbibing... for weeks), I officially became a god parent.

It was pretty awesome because:

1. my god kids are rad
2. I didn't combust into flames at the church
3. am kinda Catholic (more on that below) so I can now use my powers for evi....good. yeah.
4. spent the weekend with one of my besties (we would get into soooo much trouble if we lived closer which could be entertaining.. if we could finagle a reality tv show around us.. but alas)

so.. I'm kinda Catholic because during the ceremony..... I had to renounce evil.  Now.... before you get all judgey on me, you should know that I was in shock that nothing happened when I crossed the church threshold and the renouncing questions took me by surprise.  I didn't cross my fingers or anything.  I'm not gonna lie, I was a little bummed until I realized I could use this power of 'god parent' to have the kids do my bidding something like: "you have to let me give you big hugs and kisses now, it's what God would want".  Muah haha ha.  being sorta good, isn't all bad.

peace out

I'm out! Fingers crossed on May 30th.

huuuc... (that's the sound of throwing up)

yeah.. so.. two articles prompted today's reaction.  What the hell is wrong with people?!  The pictures so do the articles justice, you should click on it.  But I must warn you... you may die a little on the inside, after you read the articles.

Whack Ass Bootycheeks

Tanorexic Mom child abuse

I need a massage for real.

Beach fossils is a good band heard em on the radio. me likey

birthday presents

Dear Lover,

I've scoured my place and purse... yet no present is in sight. Either you are clever at hide and seek or the only present I got is bitter disappointment. Let's hope for your sake it's the first option.

Sincerely,
me

Grrrr..

top of the morning to ya

if the top was a big flaming turd.

seriously? is today really going to start out like this? Ever have a day that you know you should've stayed in bed for? I mean a case of the runs would be better than this.

DEAR GOD PUHLEEZE LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY, I"D BE DOWN WITH ONLY 1 MILLION DOLLARS.

thisissomebullshit.com

Operation Sterile

I am a huge advocate of sterilization. I know it makes me sound like a monster but I'm okay with this. I simply think that kids are a gift and shouldn't be taken lightly.

I know the human race will be destroyed and would prefer incompetent people not use precious resources like air, water etc. I think we can agree, stupid people suck and shouldn't infiltrate the gene pool. Case in point, puppy thrower. Domestic abuse is not kool, but you don't throw puppies! Who the hell throws puppies? Serial killers, cannibals, psychopaths...

There are tell tale signs of idiots, it may seem harsh but if people hit certain checkpoints, I think their baby making cards, driver's license and twitter/facebook/youtube pages should be removed.

1st day, last day

This morning my co-worker and I walked onto the elevator to a disshevelled woman kinda murmuring and whining in the the corner by the buttons..

I gave my co-worker "that look" which said "what the fuck did we just walk into?" I proceeded to use my key card and pressed the appropriate button, then ask crazy pants if she was ok. She said that it was her first day at work and she was late and she was freaking cause she needed to be on the 3rd floor and needed to go to the 1st floor for the concierge to give her access. (disclaimer: I gleaned this information from her because she was a hot mess and talking fast and kinda crazy)

When we stopped on the 1st (lobby) floor she ran out, limbs flailing - I swear. A normal human being (an older gentlemen wearing work appropriate clothes) got on and we went up the elevator in a merry way. So I said... "Hhhhmm, I doubt the 2 minute elevator diversion is going to be her undoing, I suspect her first day will be her last..." My co-worker laughed and agreed. The gentleman, nodded and smiled.

I seriously wanted to go to the third floor and tell them to call the temp agency STAT and tell them they made an error and didn't need the manpower. I mean this chick was reverberating crazy vibe. I had to hold myself back from shaking and slapping her ala "Get a hold of yourself woman!!".

* As an FYI the following day, I made it a point to come into the office at a different time because I didn't want to run into Capt. Cuckoo Clock.

am I greedy

is it wrong to assume if you put a sign on food for NO ONE to EAT, that no one should?

I mean, I don't want to be an asshole but should I take pictures and duct tape my shit? It's kinda ridiculous because I generally don't ask for much. And it's not like I don't buy food for others, so what the hell?!

What would you do? (issue occurs at home, a teenager is involved, said teenager says they didn't eat my shit. I come from the school of 'go pick your switch', but said tactics can not be used in this environment. I really don't ask for much and am considering botchulism for learning purposes....)

daily food cost

sooo.. I'm trying (optimum word) to do a cleanse to determine what is wacking out my body. This detox entails supplements and a protein/fiber shake for breakfast and lunch, fruit and veggie snacks and dinner; no sugar (Stevia is ok), carbs, legumes, soda/juice & ALCOHOL.

yeah.. see why I said 'trying'. anyways, I'm sticking as close as I can. I did indulge over the weekend with some chips, bread/butter (OMG... the best item in the world) and some dessert that I split with someone else.

My definition of indulging now includes, fruit specially blueberries and grapefruit and apple cinnamon tea. Yeah... crazy talk.

I have to say it's kinda nice to see how food is affecting my body. Seriously if I eat bad stuff, I can feel it the next day, foggy, headachey, and tired. It's kinda crazy. I won't be doing this forever, I'm trying to see what I'm allergic too and be healthier.

anyways, my diatribe is about how expensive it is to be healthy. not including the veggie snack I made with watercress, cabbage, protein & mushroom or dinner, I'm spending on average $6-8 on snacks of fruit/veggies A DAY. what the hell. doesn't seem like alot, if it was for food the entire day, but no... it's just for fruit. ugh.

stupid metabolism. I hate getting old. I swear.

I hate minivans. They are stupid.

Limbaugh, limp alright...

Hey, I call it like I see it. And how I see it is Rush Limbaugh is a sad misogynist and is desperate for attention and publicity. Guess I'd be a grumpy a hole if I didn't have sex for twenty years. Bitter... oh so bitter.

Hint:
you are a d bag and nobody likes you.
your chances of getting pooty tang has been diminished because you are a tool, perhaps if you pay someone you might score
only losers pick on girls
also, you have no input as you don't have a vagina

The ole crotch punch

Don't know why but I'm feeling all sorts of grumpy.

Perhaps I want to know that I'm not alone or am not a monster, but can anyone let me know:
Have you ever wanted to punch someone in the crotch?

Seriously, maybe it's life, work, jackasses, but have you ever met someone who's an AHOLE that needed a swift kick or punch? I mean if they are a jerk anyways what does it matter.

tee hee

saw this image (online). i was feeling kinda snarky. I WISH I did this.

But my disdain for prisons and being anally raped keeps me from doing anything criminal. okay, anything criminal that I can get caught for or forensically tied too.

Regardless, this is pretty damn funny.