Early Christmas fun

(under the tune of "London Bridge is falling down")
Merry Christmas tra la la
tra la la
tra la la
Merry Christmas tra la la
where's my present?!

It's one week till Christmas! Have you done all of your shopping? No worries, if not you still have 6 days, and if you celebrate Christmas 'after Christmas' then you will have loads and loads of bargains.

I wish I had a fraction of the money that bastard Madoff swindled, if I did I would buy all my loveys presents. (I am not condoning stealing people's money, btw. I hope that guy rots in a cell with a roomie named Tiny) Anyways, since I'm not loaded, I thought I give you a present in celebration of the holidays from my heart to yours:

My Peeps

There was an article on CNN about 1000+ new species found along the Mekong River which spans Southeast Asia - Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, Cambodia. It was a pretty good article and encouraging considering all the other species mankind is killing out. However as I was scanning the images I couldn't help but notice the caption for a Rat type creature that was thought to been extinct for some 11 million years. I mean this is big news! So why did they find the little critter in a food market? Whassup with that? Was he scampering for food or worse... being sold as? I think we all know the truth! Worse part is... he's kinda cute. I hope he lives another 11 million years and surpasses the existance of humans. We can be so cold.

aww

I've got puppy fever!!!

It's lethal! I shall call this puppy fifi jr. Don't tell my dog.

Operation Insert Brain _here_

So.... they say that time will heal all wounds but what if it doesn't? What if your wound never heals, festers, and gets infectioned and you have to have an appendage amputated? HUH!? I've consulted the dark forces (Dr. ToB) to formulate a way to move forward and have up come up with a possible solution. But I need your help in deciding which option would work best.



I'm trying to be a better person but it's hard.....

How the mighy have fallen

Okay.... some would argue, mighty? But seriously in his heyday, Boy George was awesome. He could sing, had personality, charisma and was a bit delusional - but who isn't - especially if you are famous. I love listening to the Best of Culture Club cd and bebopping along with Karma Chameleon. But the days of galavanting about are long gone for BG. Getting older, more mature is no fun but everyone has to do it and when done with grace, aging can be a nice thing. So even if he didn't have the legal issue with enslaving an escort - really, REALLY? he should atleast have the gumption to calm it the hell down with the crazy makeup. Seriously, whorish eye shadow and lip gloss does not do wonders for double chins.

My Hero

I was scanning through the Ugly Betty site, in a lame attempt to catch up via reading the episode guide and noticed Amanda's blog. OMG, I freakin luv her - she's sooo evil and punchy and hilarious. Who else would write for their Thanksgiving blog entry that they are first thankful that God made them pretty? I luv luv luv her.

Sadly, I haven't been watching the show as much cause it's a little played out and not as funny if you don't have someone special to watch it with and make fun of people. So sad.

Hell in a handbasket

It seems like things are going:

d
o
w
n.....

Crap. Interesting times we live in. I feel bad for the elderly and people on fixed income.

I've got 80 more years to work until I retire. (and by retire I mean die because there will no longer be retirement for my generation) In fact, I may need to consider whether I want kids, initially my stand has been 'Nay'. However, kids does equal indentured servants and place where I can watch QVC and have my grandkids steal money out of my purse. A place I can lie my cane and torment loved ones, and most importantly guilt into caring for me forever and ever.

Crumbs. I wasn't intending on procreating but since there will be no social security and my 401k has sponteneaously combusted I may need to reconsider. This sucks. It will be interesting to see what will happen the next year or so. I'm thinking things won't get better until 3rd or 4th quarter next year. What would be neat to track is the increase of crime and suicide rate. Not everybody has the capability to overcome hardships.

A great side effect is that people will develop a better understanding of living within their means and become economically savvy. It's a tough lesson but in the end so many people will benefit.

7 degrees of Steven Segal

Okay, it can't just be me. Does anyone else notice the uncanny resemblance of Joe Biden and Steven Segal? Maybe I was having a couple martinis while watching the VP debate but seriously.... Biden diffenately had some of Segal's look - perfectly. Even the hairline.....

even the squinty eyes.... just saying.

So operation "Carnies" is over - don't think I'll be able to go to the RenFest but CNN and WTOP mentioned that a woman and her boyfriend were bit by a snake after she picked it up and shook it around to scare her boyfriend. It was poisonious. Good ole Darwinism at work.

Hours of Entertainment

When things are grey and sad, be grateful for three things:

• friends
• the internet
• credit cards!

Had to post pics my friend sent of herself and her d.o.g. I think I'm going to have to go to this site: http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

It could be hours of entertainment. My girl is looking FLY!! Holla!!

Went shopping yesterday and scored a gr8 DVF dress. She is my hero. Oh how I could sing the phrases of Unicorns and Rainbows for Mrs. VonFurstenberg. I love her so. I know I should save, save, save but it was a $400 for $138. come on!!

Oh... it's October now, a very precarious month: Vegas, Helen Hayes and Halloween. As the month's events are big 'to do's - I plan to lose a whopping 5-8 lbs to kick off my 'even though it's a Recession and I could get a good deal on Liposuction but I don't want to be incapacited or die Campaign'. Look Obama and McCann have their campaign and I've got mine. It's a dire situation. While I don't mind the extra boobage, the midsection is getting 'outta control'. Normally I wouldn't care about offending the sensabilities of others... but I can't bear the thought of not fitting into any of my fab dresses. That would be a great injustice. So I will occasionally supplement my blog with my progress - that too should be mildly entertaining.

Silver Sprung so pedestrian

First, had a delightful time in New York last week. Went shopping but didn't have to sell my doggie for my shopping addiction - which is good. I'm a pro on the subway and scored fab vintage deals. Yay, Beacon's Closet in Park Slope.

Second, didn't go to the Renaissance Festival to make fun of the carnies. It was too muddy to venture out. Initially, I thought someone above didn't approve of my gratification at others expense... but really, really? Carnies. Come on. I hope to have fodder in the future to blog on. This means I must go before it ends!! CARNIES!!

Lastly, Silver Spring - the lovely hub of slick surburban living is getting all fancy with a new transit stop and a gazillion bus stops. Normally this would be a good thing, people, bad fashion to poke fun of, pick pocketing opportunities galore. But nay, not if it imposes where you have to be and not if it increases the number of vagrants meandering around where you are. I don't take kindly to people asking for money unless they are family and I don't take kindly to them either. (mostly because the phrase 'borrow' is injected when we all really know the correct phrase is 'give') Alas. I love my family but I do not like strangers and especially a whole bunch of them, taunting Darwinism and subconsciously asking me to mow them down in my vehicle.

Public Blogs

I've had a profound realization: People are retarded.

Case in point, see the above image. I get it, perhaps you have a blog as a personal journal of sorts. A way to detox your soul and life of the mundane existence you have. Or a saucy way to gripe about the ill fashion sins being committed. Or better yet, to document the cute expression of your dog's face when he does something terribly naughty. But if your blog is public - obviously you want people to see it SO if it is used for evil and not good, then them's the breaks. I mean if I posted a picture of myself in high school with Teflon hair and a rad off the shoulder one piece, it's taking a gamble that someone will:
a. give me a compliment and say that I haven't aged a day since Metallica toured with Guns N Roses
b. photoshop my head onto a porn star
c. vehemently make fun of my 'tiffanyesque' updo and bad fashion sense

These are the chances we take. The image is funny because it sounds like some sort of McCarthy Blacklist conspiracy.

Ah, people. Speaking of which. Went to the Renaissance Festival and it was great. I would highly advise anyone with self esteem issues to go, as you will most likely walk away with a grander sense of self. I'll be sure to take pictures the next time to further my point.

Almost Fall

Is it me or does 'twitter' sound dirty?

I love fridays and the fall. It's great that it finally feels cool. Looking forward to coats, sweaters and cute stockings. Not looking forward to total darkness.