Grrrr..

top of the morning to ya

if the top was a big flaming turd.

seriously? is today really going to start out like this? Ever have a day that you know you should've stayed in bed for? I mean a case of the runs would be better than this.

DEAR GOD PUHLEEZE LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY, I"D BE DOWN WITH ONLY 1 MILLION DOLLARS.

thisissomebullshit.com

Operation Sterile

I am a huge advocate of sterilization. I know it makes me sound like a monster but I'm okay with this. I simply think that kids are a gift and shouldn't be taken lightly.

I know the human race will be destroyed and would prefer incompetent people not use precious resources like air, water etc. I think we can agree, stupid people suck and shouldn't infiltrate the gene pool. Case in point, puppy thrower. Domestic abuse is not kool, but you don't throw puppies! Who the hell throws puppies? Serial killers, cannibals, psychopaths...

There are tell tale signs of idiots, it may seem harsh but if people hit certain checkpoints, I think their baby making cards, driver's license and twitter/facebook/youtube pages should be removed.

1st day, last day

This morning my co-worker and I walked onto the elevator to a disshevelled woman kinda murmuring and whining in the the corner by the buttons..

I gave my co-worker "that look" which said "what the fuck did we just walk into?" I proceeded to use my key card and pressed the appropriate button, then ask crazy pants if she was ok. She said that it was her first day at work and she was late and she was freaking cause she needed to be on the 3rd floor and needed to go to the 1st floor for the concierge to give her access. (disclaimer: I gleaned this information from her because she was a hot mess and talking fast and kinda crazy)

When we stopped on the 1st (lobby) floor she ran out, limbs flailing - I swear. A normal human being (an older gentlemen wearing work appropriate clothes) got on and we went up the elevator in a merry way. So I said... "Hhhhmm, I doubt the 2 minute elevator diversion is going to be her undoing, I suspect her first day will be her last..." My co-worker laughed and agreed. The gentleman, nodded and smiled.

I seriously wanted to go to the third floor and tell them to call the temp agency STAT and tell them they made an error and didn't need the manpower. I mean this chick was reverberating crazy vibe. I had to hold myself back from shaking and slapping her ala "Get a hold of yourself woman!!".

* As an FYI the following day, I made it a point to come into the office at a different time because I didn't want to run into Capt. Cuckoo Clock.

am I greedy

is it wrong to assume if you put a sign on food for NO ONE to EAT, that no one should?

I mean, I don't want to be an asshole but should I take pictures and duct tape my shit? It's kinda ridiculous because I generally don't ask for much. And it's not like I don't buy food for others, so what the hell?!

What would you do? (issue occurs at home, a teenager is involved, said teenager says they didn't eat my shit. I come from the school of 'go pick your switch', but said tactics can not be used in this environment. I really don't ask for much and am considering botchulism for learning purposes....)

daily food cost

sooo.. I'm trying (optimum word) to do a cleanse to determine what is wacking out my body. This detox entails supplements and a protein/fiber shake for breakfast and lunch, fruit and veggie snacks and dinner; no sugar (Stevia is ok), carbs, legumes, soda/juice & ALCOHOL.

yeah.. see why I said 'trying'. anyways, I'm sticking as close as I can. I did indulge over the weekend with some chips, bread/butter (OMG... the best item in the world) and some dessert that I split with someone else.

My definition of indulging now includes, fruit specially blueberries and grapefruit and apple cinnamon tea. Yeah... crazy talk.

I have to say it's kinda nice to see how food is affecting my body. Seriously if I eat bad stuff, I can feel it the next day, foggy, headachey, and tired. It's kinda crazy. I won't be doing this forever, I'm trying to see what I'm allergic too and be healthier.

anyways, my diatribe is about how expensive it is to be healthy. not including the veggie snack I made with watercress, cabbage, protein & mushroom or dinner, I'm spending on average $6-8 on snacks of fruit/veggies A DAY. what the hell. doesn't seem like alot, if it was for food the entire day, but no... it's just for fruit. ugh.

stupid metabolism. I hate getting old. I swear.

I hate minivans. They are stupid.

Limbaugh, limp alright...

Hey, I call it like I see it. And how I see it is Rush Limbaugh is a sad misogynist and is desperate for attention and publicity. Guess I'd be a grumpy a hole if I didn't have sex for twenty years. Bitter... oh so bitter.

Hint:
you are a d bag and nobody likes you.
your chances of getting pooty tang has been diminished because you are a tool, perhaps if you pay someone you might score
only losers pick on girls
also, you have no input as you don't have a vagina

The ole crotch punch

Don't know why but I'm feeling all sorts of grumpy.

Perhaps I want to know that I'm not alone or am not a monster, but can anyone let me know:
Have you ever wanted to punch someone in the crotch?

Seriously, maybe it's life, work, jackasses, but have you ever met someone who's an AHOLE that needed a swift kick or punch? I mean if they are a jerk anyways what does it matter.