Zombie Outbreak Vehicles

Holy mother trucker, on my way to work I saw a truck with stickers, neon green zombie blood and weapons.  I wished I stopped and took a picture, it was freakin awesome!!!

So I googled it and can't believe how many people trick out their cars.  It's crazy.

I wanna live

yeah.... in case I needed additional fodder for my "do not fly to list", this article pretty much sealed the deal on Honduras.

Mexico has been on the list for years - you know with the decapitations and kidnappings.

I think it's a solid idea to say that any country on the Dept of State "Do Not Travel List" and possible areas around said countries are automatically included in my poo poo to you list.  Honestly, any place that requires Kidnapping Insurance sucks.

Windshield curse

Holy Fuck!  I am cursed.  Third time a rock has hit my windshield and cracked it in a year.

Let's think about those odds.
Of all the people in the DMV, that drive to work about 2 hours a days approximately 192 days a year.  Or 384 hours a year or around 16 solid days of my life per year.....  and I'm the lucky mother fucker that gets a broken windshield..... not once, but THREE times.

Really, can't we just transfer a portion of that craptastic luck over to winning the lottery or something?  I could really do some evi.. "good" with that money and save small animals and orphan shoes.

DC has the worst traffic

It's true.  Perhaps it's not the worst in the nation but its up there.  See..... And some studies have said the DC commute is the worst.

I was driving home today and I swear every student driver and their 80 year old grandmother was out driving.  On top of that, everyone in the DMV decided it would be a great time to hit the road at the same time so there was bumper to bumper traffic on the beltway for a solid ass 40 minutes no joke and there wasn't a broken down car or accident in sight.

I almost flipped the fuck out.  Really.  If I'm sitting in traffic that ain't moving, on a road with no stop light there better be a good ass reason.  I'm talking a circus parade or some shit.  On the bright side, at least it was going home and not going to work.

Snowden, you flaming piece of shit

I hate you and would be willing to stand in line and not sleep for a couple days (like I was waiting for a concert) to have the chance to kick you in the kidneys and see you pee blood.

Especially now that you are in Russia.  Hey, Putin, funny how a few hours ago your PR people were indignant about the US saying that Snowden was there and Russia was denying it.  Because god forbid relations with you guys get any worse (Pot, Kettle black....)

assholes. 

Speaking of, check out the quote from Putin:

Noting the United States and Russia do not have an extradition agreement, Putin said Snowden can't be turned over to U.S. authorities and has committed no crimes on Russian soil.

But he also said Russian security forces have not been "working with" Snowden and expressed hope that the incident would not "affect the cordial nature of our relations with the U.S."

That's a first, I didn't know the relationship with our countries were considered cordial.  I mean the US worked with Russia about a month ago with the Boston bombing.  But Russian authorities aren't willing to extradite Snowden... I wonder if it has anything to do with any secret information he divulged or the fact that our countries are friendemies.  That shit is more blatant than the fake ass wig Amanda Byrnes wears.

Regardless, this situation is bullshit.  This guy is a chuckle head, he's like a big dumbass kid that is starving for attention.  Now he's saying that he fully intended to gather and disclose information from the get go.  He's also communicating with Julian Assange (Wikileaks founder) who is in an Ecuadorian embassy in London to avoid extradition on sexual charges.  Two weaselling assholes chalk full of delusion.  They should share a cell together.  I hope they both die a slow, painful itchy in the underparts death. 

Fairy tales

1.  Maybe the Evil Queen wasn't so evil.
2.  Maybe Snow White was a little hussy delinquent that got in all kinda of trouble and did all sorts of unsavory things. (She hangs out in the woods with 7 men, 'talks' to animals...  for all you know she was eating wild mushrooms)
3.  What if Snow White killed her mother and perhaps her dad was a love blinded fool (I mean he married the evil queen).
4.  What if the Queen was trying to be a responsible role model, teach her about properly fitting into society and Snow White was a spoiled ego centric entitled a-hole?

I think truth is stranger than fiction.  And that a new version of the story needs to be told.  Don't even get me started on Hansel and Gretel trespassing committing B&E to that little old lady that wanted to be left alone.  Assholes.

Traitors

Today's rant is fueled by PMS and my disdain for Edward Snowden, the NSA leaker, national traitor and delusional extraordinaire.

I get being idealistic, young and foolish - to a degree.  Go work at a CO-OP, join the Peace Corp or go to Lalapalooza.... .  But don't put national security at risk.   Especially for citizens of the fine fucking country that your family/friends currently reside in.  Yes, the very country that you grew up in, that gave you the opportunity to make something of yourself and provide you with a podium to rant about freedom of speech.  NOTE:  It's ironic that he is leaking information in a foreign country that monitors their citizens internet, phone calls and movement (Hong Kong/China) and is willing to entertain discussions with Russia and other 3rd world countries that DO NOT have freedom of fucking speech.

asshole.

As far as I'm concerned, Snowden is a traitor and fit to be tied and quartered.  I look forward to authorities finding his corpse in an alley.