Windshield curse

Holy Fuck!  I am cursed.  Third time a rock has hit my windshield and cracked it in a year.

Let's think about those odds.
Of all the people in the DMV, that drive to work about 2 hours a days approximately 192 days a year.  Or 384 hours a year or around 16 solid days of my life per year.....  and I'm the lucky mother fucker that gets a broken windshield..... not once, but THREE times.

Really, can't we just transfer a portion of that craptastic luck over to winning the lottery or something?  I could really do some evi.. "good" with that money and save small animals and orphan shoes.

Bobby Brown going to jail AGAIN

This made CNN news. 

It's such a shocking surprise. 

NOT.  Yo, BB, what went wrong?  You had so much talent, blessings and money.
PUT DOWN the CRACK PIPE.

If only the legal system worked this way

Wacky things have been all over the news lately, like the Carnival Cruise poopaster...err disaster.  Or the double amputee speedracer that murdered his model girlfriend?  Um...you are going to wish you were with her when you get to prison.... cause you are cute and can't run no where. 

Damn.  I went there.

But holy smokes, what about the jackwad that slapped a two year old on a plane??!!  And it wasn't his kid?!!!  WTF, America?  Who does this?  I wish we could sue people's parents, this guy is f*cked up and I just cannot believe there were no warning signs.  A racist bully sociopath that what he is.  I've been on planes and there is that little cringe when crying babies get on them.. but you know what?  They are babies/children.  Plane trips are scary to kids and adults in general, all those people and it's a little chaotic.  Don't even get me started on that ear popping issue - which a baby or little kids wouldn't even know how to do (to release the tension) and gawd forbid if the little person has an ear infection or is sick.

It's a big to do for big and little people.

You don't go around slapping people, ESPECIALLY not kids and ESPECIALLY strangers kids.  Holy shit, imagine if you could slap people, it would be mass chaos.

Hardships come with life, but you don't assault children.  How that hell did this guy get a managerial position?  I'm glad there is major backlash and he got fired.  He will be forever humiliated.  I wish I could slap him.

MotherTrucker Santa

I don't know if it's karma, somebody with a whacked sense of humor or just my shitty luck but as I was commuting in today, a rock hit my windshield.

and it dented it.

like the width of my pinky finger.

not cool Santa Claus.  Not freaking cool. I highly suggest getting on the do not call list cause once I track down your address you may find a bag on fire at your front door.

Marc Jacobs has a clown fetish

really...... I've been a follower of his work. I know he had a penchant for doing coke with his ex-husband, getting naked and doing benchpress(es). I can't even try to rationalize that but... seriously, now that you know... pay closer attention and you will realize he has some kind of deranged fetish with clowns. Case in point:

Braille

so, I could understand putting braille on ALL signs.

But riddle me this, why doesn't the restrooms have braille on the signs yet the Mechanical Room does.

Now don't get me wrong. I love me some blind people but I must admit being a bit closed minded about a blind mechanical/electrical technician. It scares me.

Please don't go into the Mechancial ROOM! What if I switch the signs? I'm just thinking about the greater good and no matter how I dice it, Mr. or Ms. Blind Engineer is not a pretty sight.

that's so 1984

so I don't want to be a sad sally. and I don't know if you are ready for this, with all of the problems of the world: Haiti, war, disease, famine.. etc. but here goes....

(don't hate the messenger....)

The Scorpions.... are breaking up. I will give you a moment, to let this sink in.

Acceptable responses are:
1. Wow, I thought they were dead.
2. The what?!
3. Didn't they break up when I was in grade school?
4. The who?!
5. That's so 1984.
6. Grandpa?

Edumacation

Damn maybe this is why you are a blue collar worker.

Bitchy, maybe.

But if you are operating heavy equipment which I suspect requires a license of some sort, a public worker or in a profession that entails setting up safety parameters for pedestrians - I highly suggest learning how to spell. You know... in case I don't know what the hell a 'sisewalk' is and that it is 'colse' because of a big hole or something. Why?! Why?

Headlines be whacked

I want to write for newspapers, blogs or be an anchor cause some of the headlines are so whacked...

For instance, a woman in the South killed and decapitated her 3 1/2 week baby. She may have also commiited cannibalism. She said the Devil made her do it. Now I can't really argue with crazy or Satan. What Evil wants Evil gets. It's tragic and horrible. But what is annoying is that the headlines from AP say: Decapitated baby's mother had psychosis diagnosis (AP)

My reaction is, YA THINK?! Thanks, Capt Obvious. WTF. I want to write a headline that says "DUH!". Whenever anyone does somtehing utterly fucked up, a few days later a news outlet comes out with an assessment that is so stupid, it's very Fox news, you know. Just crap and fodder. Why even post a stupid headline like that.... isn't it obvious.

Oh well. I'm just spiteful cause I haven't flipped out and killed a crapload of people.

Survey says BONG

So flamey chiffon situation is bad. BAD!!!!! She was such a pretty girl too.

Mirrors anyone?

Where do I start? Okay I was at the store and saw the above situation. Black tights and booty shorts is unacceptable on anyone unless you work at Hooters, are in a dinner theater, in the theater or a stripper.. Since I'm not the fashion police (thank your lucky stars cause I'd be giving out citations left and right), PEOPLE don't wear something so the shirt rides up your back for everyone to see that your tights are hiked up and your shorts are small and riding down. I can't tell if that is booty crack or the piping on the tights. People don't want to see that. I could've been buying food or something. What the, what the! Ah well.