Beaver attacking a geezer

Reason 54 as to why I don't exercise.

this is also reason 22 why I don't swim in ponds/lakes. .. that and barracudas, alligators, anacondas, piranhas, chupracoabra and any other thing that lives in the wild and can attack people.

yo, keep your ass in the house.

damn.

but the lady lived.  yay darwin.

4 Reasllz?

Okay, catching up on the juicy news while I was busy.

There was a 60 person brawl in Frederick, MD.  The news is sooo funny, they said they are trying to determine the cause.  I've go to put on my thinking caps for this one..... do you think it could be .....
ALCOHOL and STUPID PEOPLE?

maybe.  ya think?

TMI

Is there a gentle way of letting someone know that they divulge a little too much information about themselves?

This is one of my new years or maybe lifetime solutions. How to kindly detract, obvert, or dissuade people from talking about past convictions, issues with bodily fluids, medical conditions and the such.

really. it's unnecessary and creeps people out. Any advice?

TMM's.....

What happens when you have 75 guests celebrating a 3 year old's birthday, alcohol, a baby's mama, a baby's daddy and mama's new boyfriend? Did I mention a hellalotta alcohol? Oh... and Ohio. You don't need to be Einstein to know that no good can come of this. NO GOOD, I say!!

Anyways to see Darwinism at work, and check out the pimp ass outfit on the school janitor (see pic below)- go to the link below. That shit is DOPE... seriously, how much is that guy getting paid?!  Janitors at my school wore uniforms or look busted.  This dude got the same outfit he wore on Friday night.  

And riddle me this... how the hell did this guy's shirt come off? I mean did he do a 'Hulk freak out' or something.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/09/28/ohio.birthday.brawl/index.html?iref=NS1

Reprieve...dang

so.. it appears that God loves fat metalheads too. in the midst of my drunken stuphor blogging a few weeks ago... my phone fell into my beverage.

it died.

I was all "NOooooo, dear god WHY. Take ME.... no... TAKE HIM" - pointing to random strangers... so... I've been dealing. The temp phone only allows me to receive emails, NO camera, NO instant FBing or Blogging. It is so sad. I feel like I'm in the Dark Ages. I mean it's a bit obvious now if I whip out my camera and take pictures... then I have to upload it and type in an entry. Ugh. My brain hurts.

I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and hate everyone equally. It's the right thing to do. Till then I will suffer with my lame ass 3g slow as snails phone. How in the hell did humans manage to survive prior to technology?

England has the best Serial Killers

Seriously, throughout history the motherland (you know to America) and Germany always has the most wackiest and wildest serial killers. Don't get me wrong the old US has had it's fair share of crazies:

• Green River Killer
• Jeffrey Dalmer
• John Wayne Gacy
• Ed Gein (it rubs the lotion on the skin)
• The Zodiac Killer

and NO, Charles Manson doesn't count because he was a mass murderer, thank you. Not a Serial Killer (duh). But I digress. England - something about Serial Killers, Cannibals and Prostitutes I mean, really it's a recipe for disaster. See the CNN article here

Ah well, the more I read about crime, the more I'm hoping that micro-organisms take back the earth or that a Supernova sucks us up. Let the bunnies, kittens and puppies inherite the earth cause humans suck.

Speaking of sucking... three day weekend. I'll be sure to snag pictures of visual attrocities - because it's the beginning of summer (people get drunk, put on clothes in the dark, drink liquid courage to karioke, it's hot, less clothes, people seem to think they are far hotter than actuality) and there's bound to be bad BAD bad fashion. And I'll be there like the caped crusader waiting to strike (and take picture to blog about) so I can defend the rights and eyes of the masses!

Edumacation

Damn maybe this is why you are a blue collar worker.

Bitchy, maybe.

But if you are operating heavy equipment which I suspect requires a license of some sort, a public worker or in a profession that entails setting up safety parameters for pedestrians - I highly suggest learning how to spell. You know... in case I don't know what the hell a 'sisewalk' is and that it is 'colse' because of a big hole or something. Why?! Why?

7 degrees of Steven Segal

Okay, it can't just be me. Does anyone else notice the uncanny resemblance of Joe Biden and Steven Segal? Maybe I was having a couple martinis while watching the VP debate but seriously.... Biden diffenately had some of Segal's look - perfectly. Even the hairline.....

even the squinty eyes.... just saying.

So operation "Carnies" is over - don't think I'll be able to go to the RenFest but CNN and WTOP mentioned that a woman and her boyfriend were bit by a snake after she picked it up and shook it around to scare her boyfriend. It was poisonious. Good ole Darwinism at work.