Are we all Ho's

 
I've been pondering the concept that in general, we are ho's or pimps.  This roles is fluid and changes in context.

For example:
You order large fries and yell at the cashier cause the fries aren't full in the container.
You, sir, are a pimp.
The cashier is your ho.

You make dinner and the shitskies you made it for don't clean up or help.
You, sir, are a biotch.
You made food and have to clean it all up.

You get reamed for not implementing enough updates for a client.
You, sir, are a porno ho, taking it from all sides.

You go to the liquor store and have the sales associate load your ride up with alcohol.
You, sir, are a pimp.

See, you can essentially apply this to all aspects in life. 

Bobby Brown going to jail AGAIN

This made CNN news. 

It's such a shocking surprise. 

NOT.  Yo, BB, what went wrong?  You had so much talent, blessings and money.
PUT DOWN the CRACK PIPE.

Fire Ass

This is the crap your mother or school doesn't teach you about:
Hemorrhoids.

I hate getting old.   Why oh why.  It's enough to get wrinkles or have gray hairs but this shit OMG.  I might as well start wearing a colostomy bag.

Holy shit do they hurt.  Literally he who penned the phrase "pain in the ass" had to have had one.  This is the second time I've had one all this year.   And you wanna talk awkward at the pharmacy.  The cashier must've thought I was having some freakish party with the preperation h, stool softener and peeps.  There wasn't much small talk if you catch my drift.

Regardless my ass hurts and googling this isn't helping cause I'm all freaking out about getting surgery now (thanks over active imagination).

der pression

I can't tell if it's the winter time blues, economy or general BLAAness overall but I think I'm depressed.  It's pretty normal to get the blues, I've gone in and out of funks before but it's been a good two months now and I'm generally funky around the holidays for obvious reasons.  So it's been a while and it's getting on my nerves.  Thinking about it depresses me... damn.

So... how to know if you are depressed:
1. haven't gone shopping.
2. diminished desire to go shopping
3. wanton lack of giving a shit
4. only creative outlet is coming up with new ways to wear pajamas in public
5. crap ton of sleeping
6. diminished desire to bitch slap people
7. haven't gone shopping
8. avoiding mirrors due to items 3. & 4.

sucks.  even my desire to plot has ceased & desisted.

the only consolation is that alot of people seem to be going through the same funk.  maybe it's a virus like the flu.  stupid. flu grumpy ...  I want summer to come and to win the lottery (a big one not some bs small penny slot jackpot either).

Sue your face!

I just knew the day would come although I'm a little surprise the the action is coming from the offspring......  Thanks for nothing Mom & Dad..

Many a times I've mentioned suing the parents of a person suing a corporation or in the legal system.  For instance, people that sue McDonald's because they are fat, opposed to being 'accountable' for their fatty fat actions.  It's a crazy concept I know, but maybe if they were taught that if YOU eat fatty foods, YOU will become... fat. 

No one is forcing you.  and gawd forbid if upon review you have larger people in your family...cause I think it would be fair to countersue the parents, for having a dumbass kid and not teaching them basic fundamental values.  It's a disservice to them and the rest of society.  I digress.

This guy took it to another level.  It sucks that some people have more advantages than others, but I personally believe that the true character of a person can be seen under duress.  That how you deal with adversity will help you succeed in life.

The short of it: anything worth having takes effort, otherwise everyone would have 'it'.

If only the legal system worked this way

Wacky things have been all over the news lately, like the Carnival Cruise poopaster...err disaster.  Or the double amputee speedracer that murdered his model girlfriend?  Um...you are going to wish you were with her when you get to prison.... cause you are cute and can't run no where. 

Damn.  I went there.

But holy smokes, what about the jackwad that slapped a two year old on a plane??!!  And it wasn't his kid?!!!  WTF, America?  Who does this?  I wish we could sue people's parents, this guy is f*cked up and I just cannot believe there were no warning signs.  A racist bully sociopath that what he is.  I've been on planes and there is that little cringe when crying babies get on them.. but you know what?  They are babies/children.  Plane trips are scary to kids and adults in general, all those people and it's a little chaotic.  Don't even get me started on that ear popping issue - which a baby or little kids wouldn't even know how to do (to release the tension) and gawd forbid if the little person has an ear infection or is sick.

It's a big to do for big and little people.

You don't go around slapping people, ESPECIALLY not kids and ESPECIALLY strangers kids.  Holy shit, imagine if you could slap people, it would be mass chaos.

Hardships come with life, but you don't assault children.  How that hell did this guy get a managerial position?  I'm glad there is major backlash and he got fired.  He will be forever humiliated.  I wish I could slap him.

Bathroom Phone Etiquette

Okay, I'm no Ann Landers but holy shit.

That awkward moment in a bathroom with someone talking loudly and peeing louder then doing a double flush.  I don't care if it's your best friend, kids, spouse, parent.  I know, everyone uses the bathroom and may even be on the phone sometimes, but for GAWD sakes, mute that shit.  I don't need to know that you and your friend are down with some freaky bathroom fetish.

It's bad enough to hear someone else's conversation but to know that the true recepient is fine with the cell/bathroom etiquette disburbs me more.  EWwww.  I mean if that's the shit you 'know' about, I shutter to think about the crap being done on the phone you don't know about.

literally and figuratively... haha.  I made a funny.  crap.
ewww.