Slap me silly with a wet sock

Okay... I just got to know, who the hell are these bitches that are buying these socks?  (especially the dumb ones paying full price) and why aren't they dating me?

Oh wait... it's cause I'm poor.  and have common sense.

Dear Reader,

Should I inherit a crap ton of money, or win the lottery if I EVER do something this stupid, you can slap me with a wet sock.

Yours Truly,
Fifi

Lanvin Trench

2012 is starting off great, I scored a stellar deal on a Lanvin ete 2011 trench, normally $1300+ for $400 at the Barneys outlet. I got the black waxed cotton double-breasted trench coat with notched lapels, button slash pockets and gathering at shoulder. I love the crazy spikey, devil horn shoulders. The trench has a self belt at waist and a center vent on the back.

It has a Matrix, Lady Gaga feel. I'm working on my new year's resolution of making bat shit crazy look good. I'm not really bat shit crazy, but I don't want to wait until I'm 65 to be that eccentric broad with big cocktail rings and wardrobe to die for. Why can't I do that now?

LIAR

so that shopping hiatus didn't really last long.

I think I'm going through a mid life crisis. I went out and bought leather pants and dyed my hair blue. It really looks black but there are small streaks of blue in the bottom back where I bleached it out. I need to bleach it more. I don't think most people do that for a mid life crisis. Perhaps I need a sports car?

Anyways I hung out with my sole mate - Tam and we went to the Nanette Lepore store, Saks Fifth Avenue and Loehmanns. I scored some kool digs like a black Rebecca Minkoff knot dress for $124 (normally $300) and leather pants - Philosophy by Alberta Ferretti for $140 (normally $1000). It was fun, my credit card hates or loves me. My bank account hates me. I've decided whatever preconcieved notions I had about being an adult and getting old are just that. I need to seize the day and enjoy life as it is right now. Look great, wear kick ass clothes, take trips and be with the ones I love. If you only have one life, better enjoy, right?

So I'm going to step it up a notch, I mean I can't wear 5 inch heels when I'm 60. or can I?

shop-a-holic

Some people have a problem. I have a gift that is also a curse. I get really really good deals. So while I will openly admit my penchant for shopping, it's the discounts that are my biggest downfall. Take my latest conquest for instance:



My evil bestie (she's not evil but we are trouble together) informed me of a super sale at Leifsdottir - kick ass brand from Anthropologie. As I reviewed the sale section I was taken by a number of lovely items at stellar prices. So much in fact that I spent a small fortune. But if I paid full price it would've been $1260+. I know I know.. it's a lot of money, but we are talking a nearly 70% savings. It would've been a 75% savings if I didn't get that damn jacket... but it's sooooo pretty.

I'm going to hide the credit cards and rationalize buying groceries..... but I will look great!

a dash of pepper

So I'm still stumbling through life with a crappy phone. I actually have the world edition blkberry but no camera/no fb or blogging capabilities = no evil. and really what fun is that? I have to now 'work' to update crap. It blows. I'm now a digital hermit.

Speaking of hermits... I'm fighting a battle with the ex'bldg manager. He is an A HOLE. This was just a side tangent. I hope his ears burn and his pee stings.

I went shopping this weekend - prior to the tryst two weeks ago - I hadn't shopped in (ready?....) three months. I KNOW... it was all pent up. Shopping after such a long time was better than having breakup sex. It was sooo awesome and I didn't feel guilty afterwards. I'm pleased to report that I still have my shopping mojo as I scored a White House Black Market dress normally $168 for a whopping $10. Uh huh! Oh yeah. I went on to spend a lot more than $10. But yay, shopping karma.

I'm still on the fence about getting the Droid or waiting for an iPhone. I mean there's a crap load of stuff I could update my blog with if I were more connected. We shall see.

xoxo!

Good morning

Nothing starts the day better than a fashion show and a department store in the morning. I was @ both

Is good... ya?

I am pleased to inform you that:
1. I have not shopped - I've been sick and incapacited so that helped.
2. I have not hurt anyone yet. (see item one)
3. I only had 2 drinks for Fat Tuesday
4. The Nutrisystem food doesn't taste like crap which is good (see item two)
5. I got one of the last items I bought on Ebay before my abstinence vows... (miu miu and prada shoes) I will pet them whenever I get sad or frustrasted.
6. Almost done with New Moon. (see item one)

If I can continue being sick for another 35 plus days, I'll be set! Oh black lung don't fail me now!!

The big "O"

Every girl needs a vice. I've got a few, for my fellow females that don't have one.... So I was having a not so good day yesterday. I've been in a not good day mood for a while now, so bad that I thought 'shopping' wouldn't help. What has the world come to, when I'm losing hope in 'shopping'? Luckily, the gods were smiling upon me.

I had dinner with a girlfriend at the mall - which coincidentally has a NM last call. So I decided to poke around and see if there was anything 'take home' worthy. That's when I stumbled across the above and also bought a lovely Nanette Lepore jacket to top the emsemble off. The last couple visits to NM last call hasn't been noteworthy so I was pleasantly surprised. I walked out feeling much better as I:

1. helped the economy
2. was in shopping 'o' afterglow
3. was enroute for a drink and dinner with my GF

You know it's real good when you don't have any regrets the next day.

Score

I'm pleased to say NY wasn't a bust. I didn't get sick over the weekend. I felt a little ill but that was self induced....(that is all I will say).

I went to the Barney's Warehouse sale - I've never been to a warehouse sale in the city, it was definately an experience. Lot's of women clammering for items, a bunch of designer garb, still overpriced and people trying things on in the aisles. I managed to see what I believed were models, some bad plastic surgery and ppl with way too much money or great credit card limits. I should've walked out empty handed but landed a bitchin pair of Miu Miu's. I really couldn't pass up the deal .... (that is all I will say). Also, there is no recession in NYC. Seriously, it's crazy, so many people shopping, eating and drinking? What are they doing that I'm not. I need to get 'in' on the action.

I balanced my shopping karma by going to a consignment/exchange store (Beacon't Closet) in Brooklyn where I passed by a boutique and got these Ugg driving loafers for $20. Nope... not a typo. New in the box and it really was UGG Australia opposed to Ug or Igg or some crazy knock off. They retail for about $130. So score!

We ate, we drank, we shopped. We were also overstimulated while people watching. When is it a good idea to wear a sequined mini skirt and medal/leather biker boots? Why would a woman in a buzzcut (not hot... so very not hot) who looked like a midwest meat and potatoes brood dye her hair magenta and wear pink makeup? Was she on crack or the Drew Carey show? Why was I being visually assaulted? Did I do or say something to deserve such treatment? Or were the blogging gods watching over me to give me something to sass about?

Head cold

Getting sick on friday the 13th. ugh I don't really care about that... but I do care about my trip to NY getting F'ed up.

That would suck... but if I go shopping I may be extra aggressive.... or simply pass out. Last time I felt like shit I did this (see image). I photoshopped a bad memory out of a picture. I would've done worse but it's apparently 'illegal' to set someone on fire..... oh well.
Going to restart the band to get my aggression out. SAD NEWS - I bought two lottery tickets.....and I didn't win.
Guess I gotta keep moving and shakin.. Happy that I'm hanging with the sexy man and one of my fav GalPals this weekend! We shall dominate NYC. I pity the fool that crosses our path.

Anyone looking for Valentine's day ideas - nothing quite says I love you like a big shiny credit card and lots of cocktails!