Reality TV Shocker

I don't want to be Capt Obvious... but I can't say people shouldn't be surprised by this.

Yes, you read correctly: Teen Mom (one of the trashy hoes on that craptastic MTV reality show) tries to become a porn star.  One word:



SHOCKER.

Hey girlie girl, maybe you should put aside some of that reality tv money for therapy to deal with your whacked out daddy issues or invest in some saving bonds for your kid instead of being a crackhead.



On other bitchtastic fronts, what is the dealio with Amanda Bynes?  Poor thing, she's s l o w l y
becoming a role model of desperateness.  If  you google her the first top items are:

This chick isn't crying for attention, she's pratically SHOUTING for it.  It's sad, since the beginning of the year she's made a series of crazy unhinged acts after another.

It's a train wreck, but I can't look away.

Hey Bitches.. it's Friday & it's April.... when did that happen??!

Seriously, it's nearly tax day and I could've sworn that the year just began.

Honestly... I may have just vacuumed the house from the last hoorah.  Regardless, we are nearly 1/3 of the way through the year!!  How does that happen?  I think I was sober but alas.

So tell me, how are your new year's resolutions coming along?

Mine is good - I kept it base and simple (so I won't be sorely disappointed at the end of the year).  "Have not been arrested for assaulting anyone".  Yay! me, operation aim low - score high wins again.

AND I found my best friend.

Rocker dude

I'm in awe of this guy.
He's totally rocking out.
and what's better???

I think this is in DC.  I wish I was there.

Are we all Ho's

 
I've been pondering the concept that in general, we are ho's or pimps.  This roles is fluid and changes in context.

For example:
You order large fries and yell at the cashier cause the fries aren't full in the container.
You, sir, are a pimp.
The cashier is your ho.

You make dinner and the shitskies you made it for don't clean up or help.
You, sir, are a biotch.
You made food and have to clean it all up.

You get reamed for not implementing enough updates for a client.
You, sir, are a porno ho, taking it from all sides.

You go to the liquor store and have the sales associate load your ride up with alcohol.
You, sir, are a pimp.

See, you can essentially apply this to all aspects in life. 

Bobby Brown going to jail AGAIN

This made CNN news. 

It's such a shocking surprise. 

NOT.  Yo, BB, what went wrong?  You had so much talent, blessings and money.
PUT DOWN the CRACK PIPE.

Fire Ass

This is the crap your mother or school doesn't teach you about:
Hemorrhoids.

I hate getting old.   Why oh why.  It's enough to get wrinkles or have gray hairs but this shit OMG.  I might as well start wearing a colostomy bag.

Holy shit do they hurt.  Literally he who penned the phrase "pain in the ass" had to have had one.  This is the second time I've had one all this year.   And you wanna talk awkward at the pharmacy.  The cashier must've thought I was having some freakish party with the preperation h, stool softener and peeps.  There wasn't much small talk if you catch my drift.

Regardless my ass hurts and googling this isn't helping cause I'm all freaking out about getting surgery now (thanks over active imagination).

der pression

I can't tell if it's the winter time blues, economy or general BLAAness overall but I think I'm depressed.  It's pretty normal to get the blues, I've gone in and out of funks before but it's been a good two months now and I'm generally funky around the holidays for obvious reasons.  So it's been a while and it's getting on my nerves.  Thinking about it depresses me... damn.

So... how to know if you are depressed:
1. haven't gone shopping.
2. diminished desire to go shopping
3. wanton lack of giving a shit
4. only creative outlet is coming up with new ways to wear pajamas in public
5. crap ton of sleeping
6. diminished desire to bitch slap people
7. haven't gone shopping
8. avoiding mirrors due to items 3. & 4.

sucks.  even my desire to plot has ceased & desisted.

the only consolation is that alot of people seem to be going through the same funk.  maybe it's a virus like the flu.  stupid. flu grumpy ...  I want summer to come and to win the lottery (a big one not some bs small penny slot jackpot either).