Holy Guacamole

TWO THINGS:

1.  I'm OUT, I'm FREE.  I'm finally done with the craptastic place I was living in.  Now my headaches will be of a different variety.  : )  Atleast I'm done with that stress.  So Yay!

2.  WTF is up with the balt salt, crazy crack or zombie attacks as of late?  I mean, I CAN'T be the only person this is wondering what the fuck is going on.  First you got:
a. Miami Zombie Attack
b. NJ self stabbing/intestine throwing

Say "No" to bath salts

Yeah.... maybe time to buy some shotguns.. Of, course this would happen after all is seemingly well with my life now.  Damn it. 

Kinda giddy

with excitement now that I'm en route out of the crap hole that has been my abode for the last couple of years.  I've thought long and hard, I will not punch that douche bag in the face.  Nor will I acknowledge him because some people just want attention, any attention.  And considering he is an old lonely angry hobbit that hasn't had booty in probably 20 years... I think him living his miserable life is a fitting punishment.

I'm moving on, to a lovely area with great friends. Yes, I'm sure there will be drama and sassafras - nothing is perfect but... I won't be in a crap hole fearing for my life or that I may break and kill a man...

well maybe.  but that's a whole 'nother batch of blog entries.

Operation Living in Sin

Apparently I'm a glutton for punishment.  Tee hee.  Effective June.  We can make a game out of it.  How long before I break.... or break someone.

White bike shorts

It's a No No.  White pants, yes - well maybe depending on a number of factors: fit, style, he/she who is wearing the pants  But BIKER SHORTS - must never be worn.

because sweaty + ass = not attractive (on anyone)

holy hubba hubba

So last month other than celebrating one of the greatest days ever (my birthday.... which entailed ALOT of imbibing... for weeks), I officially became a god parent.

It was pretty awesome because:

1. my god kids are rad
2. I didn't combust into flames at the church
3. am kinda Catholic (more on that below) so I can now use my powers for evi....good. yeah.
4. spent the weekend with one of my besties (we would get into soooo much trouble if we lived closer which could be entertaining.. if we could finagle a reality tv show around us.. but alas)

so.. I'm kinda Catholic because during the ceremony..... I had to renounce evil.  Now.... before you get all judgey on me, you should know that I was in shock that nothing happened when I crossed the church threshold and the renouncing questions took me by surprise.  I didn't cross my fingers or anything.  I'm not gonna lie, I was a little bummed until I realized I could use this power of 'god parent' to have the kids do my bidding something like: "you have to let me give you big hugs and kisses now, it's what God would want".  Muah haha ha.  being sorta good, isn't all bad.

peace out

I'm out! Fingers crossed on May 30th.

huuuc... (that's the sound of throwing up)

yeah.. so.. two articles prompted today's reaction.  What the hell is wrong with people?!  The pictures so do the articles justice, you should click on it.  But I must warn you... you may die a little on the inside, after you read the articles.

Whack Ass Bootycheeks

Tanorexic Mom child abuse