Are we all Ho's

 
I've been pondering the concept that in general, we are ho's or pimps.  This roles is fluid and changes in context.

For example:
You order large fries and yell at the cashier cause the fries aren't full in the container.
You, sir, are a pimp.
The cashier is your ho.

You make dinner and the shitskies you made it for don't clean up or help.
You, sir, are a biotch.
You made food and have to clean it all up.

You get reamed for not implementing enough updates for a client.
You, sir, are a porno ho, taking it from all sides.

You go to the liquor store and have the sales associate load your ride up with alcohol.
You, sir, are a pimp.

See, you can essentially apply this to all aspects in life. 

Bobby Brown going to jail AGAIN

This made CNN news. 

It's such a shocking surprise. 

NOT.  Yo, BB, what went wrong?  You had so much talent, blessings and money.
PUT DOWN the CRACK PIPE.

Fire Ass

This is the crap your mother or school doesn't teach you about:
Hemorrhoids.

I hate getting old.   Why oh why.  It's enough to get wrinkles or have gray hairs but this shit OMG.  I might as well start wearing a colostomy bag.

Holy shit do they hurt.  Literally he who penned the phrase "pain in the ass" had to have had one.  This is the second time I've had one all this year.   And you wanna talk awkward at the pharmacy.  The cashier must've thought I was having some freakish party with the preperation h, stool softener and peeps.  There wasn't much small talk if you catch my drift.

Regardless my ass hurts and googling this isn't helping cause I'm all freaking out about getting surgery now (thanks over active imagination).

der pression

I can't tell if it's the winter time blues, economy or general BLAAness overall but I think I'm depressed.  It's pretty normal to get the blues, I've gone in and out of funks before but it's been a good two months now and I'm generally funky around the holidays for obvious reasons.  So it's been a while and it's getting on my nerves.  Thinking about it depresses me... damn.

So... how to know if you are depressed:
1. haven't gone shopping.
2. diminished desire to go shopping
3. wanton lack of giving a shit
4. only creative outlet is coming up with new ways to wear pajamas in public
5. crap ton of sleeping
6. diminished desire to bitch slap people
7. haven't gone shopping
8. avoiding mirrors due to items 3. & 4.

sucks.  even my desire to plot has ceased & desisted.

the only consolation is that alot of people seem to be going through the same funk.  maybe it's a virus like the flu.  stupid. flu grumpy ...  I want summer to come and to win the lottery (a big one not some bs small penny slot jackpot either).